Communicating

It can be so hard to be a mother with a background of fighting with teachers and feeling unvalidated. My struggles with the public school system are noted by those I work with, as well as my family and friends. So, I am quick to assume the worst, instead of hoping for the best. I mean, I try to hope for the best, but I let myself get worked up over the worst. Does that make sense? In any case, I am forever rediscovering that communicating is the best way to handle the school. At least it worked for me, well, for today....

Friday brought about no snack or recess for Ruth. She was lagging behind in her work, and though it did not upset her to be without snack, I felt a rush of frustration. Added to that was the fact that her classroom is without her sensory items: No seat, no fidgets, no heavy work. This of course results in her need to get out energy, resulting in chatter. I feel lucky it was not bouncing, picking, itching, scratching, bleeding, poking, squeaking, squealing, or the need to remove herself from the classroom via the bathroom where she sucks her fingers in private. (Though any of these would have been reason for the teacher to show concern instead of discipline.)

Ah, frustration. I took into account my mother's, and pastor's, words of wisdom, and did something. No, I was not the aggressive she tiger my mother suggested. I took a different road. I assumed there was a reason, and I do not want to alienate the teacher in the first week of school. So, I called and spoke to the teacher.

INSIGHT ABOUNDS!

On Friday, the teacher noticed Ruth was struggling with her math. She took her aside to a quiet table, and sat with her to work out the problems. She offered reminders about getting her work done so that she would not miss out on snack. It sounds pretty supportive and exactly what I would want. :) She gave me the opportunity to explain that Ruth will "whine" as a result of her anxiety. She knew the math, but was afraid to get them wrong. She assumes the worst... sounds familiar? The teacher THANKED me for letting her know.

The teacher also said that she was sorry that Ruth had missed the whole recess. That was not intended. She has already spoken to the teachers on the playground, and we talked about the sensory stuff, and how they might help. She asked about if we should use the balance disk, and I began to explain there was something different to help Ruth. I had not finished explaining about how to use a flex-band (The kind of long exercise band used with stretching) to help, when she piped in "Oh, the type to tie around the bottom of her chair to bounce her legs on?".

This might turn out to be great!

1 comment:

Amelia Antwiler said...

Oh Good!
Sounds like a resolution. yay!!