Why mint?

Really.

Why mint?

I love mint. I enjoy its smell. It reminds me of winter kisses.

I love its taste. The cool feeling as it rushes over my tongue.


I love to chew mint gum.

I LOVE candy canes.  I love to buy them just to stir hot drinks.

Why mint?

Why is it the one thing my dear daughter cannot handle?

Really.... 

I cannot open a piece of gum, a candy cane, or even sneak a cup of peppermint mocha coffee without that nose sounding off to her brain stem that there is danger.
 Mint is not dangerous. It is soothing and wondeful. 
Well, at least to me...
Ugh!

Wait a minute.....

These moments are not meant for me to put away
the things I enjoy. 
They are for me to help that snarling growling crying monster 
to relax and COPE with life.
I try breathing, and get told, "Really, Mom, that is soo annoying." But, we work together, and she can get through it.
It is called compromise. 
I do try to limit my mint intake, and she is trying to accept it.

But, there are still moments when
I have to ask "Why?"

oops is just not a strong enough word

It has been a long while since Ruth has had a melt down. 
So long in fact, I cannot name the last one. 
That is until yesterday morning. 
UGH!!

I let Jackson out, like I do every morning before I head out to work. Ruth began to cry like the dog died.
I yelled.
I mean, YELLED!
I told if she didn't knock it off, I was going to have unpleasant consequences for her. 
Like my screaming wasn't unpleasant. (enter derisive snort)
I realized my mistake as she slunk down the hall to her room.
The dog came back in, and followed me to her bedside.
I have to go to work, and she is crying still.
I ask if she wants me to lay with her a bit.
I get a sound, which indicated that probably I missed my opportunity.
I lifted my bag to leave, and heard a pat on the bed. 
I figured it was for Jackson. 
It wasn't.
It was for me.
I crawled onto the bed beside her. 
She let me wipe the tears from her face.
No apologies. 
But, forgiveness was there.
Forgiveness for her, as I realized it was not her desire to have an outburst. 
It was her anxiety getting the best of her.
Forgiveness for me, as I held her close, and sang softly to her as she began to doze.
I left her there, quietly dreaming.