oops is just not a strong enough word

It has been a long while since Ruth has had a melt down. 

So long in fact, I cannot name the last one. 

That is until yesterday morning. 

UGH!!

I let Jackson out, like I do every morning before I head out to work. Ruth began to cry like the dog died.

I yelled.

I mean, YELLED!

I told if she didn't knock it off, I was going to have unpleasant consequences for her. 

Like my screaming wasn't unpleasant. (enter derisive snort)

I realized my mistake as she slunk down the hall to her room.

The dog came back in, and followed me to her bedside.

I have to go to work, and she is crying still.

I ask if she wants me to lay with her a bit.

I get a sound, which indicated that probably I missed my opportunity.

I lifted my bag to leave, and heard a pat on the bed. 

I figured it was for Jackson. 

It wasn't.

It was for me.

I crawled onto the bed beside her. 

She let me wipe the tears from her face.

No apologies. 

But, forgiveness was there.

Forgiveness for her, as I realized it was not her desire to have an outburst. 

It was her anxiety getting the best of her.

Forgiveness for me, as I held her close, and sang softly to her as she began to doze.

I left her there, quietly dreaming.