Priority

I was luck enough to go to a Sensory Processing Workshop a couple of weeks ago. I have many things to share, but I do not have time right this minute.
One thing I want to share is about how to prioritize the needs of our sensory kids.

In our home, we deal with many sensory issues. Ruth is the only diagnosed person, but we all, even you, have sensory needs. You pick up the smell of something, the way your clothes fit today, what you have had to eat, these affect your ability to work effectively. So, how do we create priority in a home when one person is seeking extra input (more smell, more noise, more taste) while another is needing to withdraw from it?

You know what I mean. Think about the car. You are driving and do not know where you are. Do you turn down the music? This is a decrease to your senses. Are you with me?

Okay. I think it is fair to say that in our home, it can be crazy. It is rather small, and there is a large doorway from the living room to the kitchen. The TV is almost always on. Often, there is at least one person melting down because of an overload. You need it quiet to talk on the phone, or to do homework.

There are times when this becomes a battle field. UGH!

The solution: The person who is in need of less stimulation gets priority. It is not really simple, but it is a good guideline. I put it to work last night. Here is how it worked:

On Tuesdays, Ruth has a two page math assignment for homework. It can be confusing, even for grownups. She has to write how she is figuring out a multi step problem. Writing is a struggle as it is. So, last night, she began to break down. (I had left the room to answer nature's call.) The TV was too much for her. Two weeks ago, this would have resulted in a huge fight between she and her older brothers. I would have been screaming. Not fun, and not good for getting school work done. I was able to intercept before the fighting began. I calmly explained that Ruth's needed to be at the table for complete her work. She needed it to be quiet for the next 5- 10 minutes. The boys made their typical comments like "I'll remember this". I explained that I would try to remember when the need is theirs as well, but please try to understand. Ruth finished her work in a matter of minutes. Without tears. :) Then, she said, "I need it to be quiet so I can read." I explained that reading can be done in her room. "Oh, yeah." she replied, and off she went.

Priority goes to the one who is avoiding. The reason? As their needs change, you can add stimuli back. But, if there is too much stimulus, then it is hard to judge where to cut back. So, next time you are in a situation where there is a fight over how loud something is, turn it all the way down. Then, ask the one who is struggling with it if we can add it back, slowly. Sure enough, before you know it, there will be a bit of peace in your life, instead of all out warfare...